Dealing Wth Conflict

This week we were required to reflect on disagreements or conflicts we m may have had either at work or personal life. Most of my disagreements or conflicts are in my personal life. The most recent conflict was about a month ago with a friend. My friend and I had attended homecoming at our undergraduate college. We went together, but when we were on campus we went our separate ways because we had separate friends and our graduation years were different so we did not have any mutual friends. I decided to hang out at the Sigma Gamma Rho plot with my sorority sisters and he hung out with Omega Psi Phi. We agree to hang out together after we leave the last event of homecoming. Everything was going well according to the original agreement. The break down or conflict started while I was doing my homework. We agreed to go to dinner as soon as II completed my assignment. Well, a few minutes before I completed my homework, my friend fell asleep in the chair waiting for me to finish. I kept waking him up to remind him that I was almost finished and we were to go to dinner. I completed my homework and was ready to go get something to eat, but my friend was too sleepy to go to dinner. I became upset and started an argument by reminding him of our original agreement. I did not want to hear anything else because I wanted to go to dinner. When he tried to explain to me how sleepy he was because he had been up since 4:00 Am because of work and it was after midnight, I really was not hearing it. I felt that he had to stick to the original agreement. The conflict ended up being unproductive because I wanted things my way. The night ended with me ordering a pizza to be delivered to my room and my friend walking out and going to bed. This week allowed me to see where communication broke down. I was not respectful of my friend’s feelings and I was not compassionate. I did not place myself in his place. All I thought about was what I wanted and I assumed he did not want the same thing. The fact was he was tired after working and driving hours to homecoming as well as participating. All I thought about was he did not want to honor his word. This week allowed me to realize that I should not have allowed my emotions to dictate the conversation. I now know when a disagreement or conflict arises. I need to respect the other person enough to listen to what is being said or expressed. I need to imagine myself in their situation. I need to express myself in a nonconfrontational way. If we cannot agree at the moment, I need to not take it personal. I may have to step away and discuss the issue at a different time. The most important part to me is not to take things personal and not to be emotional.